The Art of Conversation
The Art of Conversation is important...
Notice, that I said ‘Art’, not just ‘Conversation'...
Understanding conversation dynamics can help build your conversational skills (and likability - stand by, Dating Tips with DB).
In sociolinguistics, they make a distinction between report speech and rapport speech.
Report speech is when you give people the facts, or recount and event. It’s like a kid who has been playing in the garden bursts in and gives you the report: “I was digging a hole in the ground, and I hit a hard shell and it was a snail, and I picked it up and a worm was attached it, and I threw them both against the back wall”.
Classic report speech. In adults this goes something like: “I was watching the news and they said this new variant will kill you unless you get a booster shot, and they are attaching conditions to it". Unless you do it, you’ll be thrown against the back wall.
Rapport speech is different. It is about sharing and talking about stuff with the goal of building intimacy or connection.
Rapport speech is like: “So, how you feeling? It must have been really hurtful when she said that. She’s such as bitch, why would you do that?,.. Oh and did you see her dress? Horrid! At least this cake is delicious”. It seems like shooting the breeze. But it is rapport speech.
It has been reported that men do this a lot more. Maybe there is something in that...
Men report, “I kicked a goal”, and women rapport, “Oh, you do your best”.
So next time you are giving someone grief about talking nonsense, just remember, they may be reporting something to you or building rapport with you.
Both are equally important, and a good balance is the key to the Art of a Good Conversation.
Hope this helps you to have a lovely chat at Christmas.
P.S Happy Christmas Eve!