Today is my birthday.
What is it about birthdays?
Every year, without fail, I have a mini-breakdown.
It happens around 6 weeks' prior, and happens up until a day or two before the date.
The birthday blues may happen for a number of reasons: just getting older, seeing more wrinkles, and starting to walk a bit less smoothly.
But, for me, that's not it. I couldn't care less about getting older.
It's so easy to do, but I wonder why this happens so much during the birthday season.
The Blues is because I start to compare myself with everyone and everything.
I fall into the, 'holy smoke', I'm at this age, and I still don't have X, Y, and Z. It's the recipe for immense sadness.
I'm usually grounded by the fact that my birthday is on ANZAC Day, the memorial day for Australian and New Zealand soldiers.
It puts everything into perspective.
Then there's the fear of missing out.
I start to think about my life and all the things I could have done.
And the women that I missed out on dating.
All the experiences I didn't have ... and it's a deep dive down into a muggy bog of sadness
The final of the three birthday horsemen of sorrow is the reminder of my lack of purpose in life. You see people have it together and you think, 'what the hell am I doing'?
I interviewed Pete Evans, a year or two ago, and his summation of our conversation was "we spoke about a bit of this, and a bit of that". That's true, there's nothing really coherent in what I do. There's no 'theme' or purpose.
Just me rambling on and writing my silly thoughts.
Maybe someday I'll find a purpose. Or maybe I have it figured out - life is absurd - and the joke is on the rest of them. Though Pete's food is delicious, so I don't think this is true.
So, it's a big relief.
Now it's my actual birthday, I see all the good things I've got, and all the things to be grateful for.
Tomorrow, will be lovely again, and the three birthday horsemen of sorrow will have ridden off into the sunset.
In Peace and Parallel
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Dr. B,
Happy birthday to you 🎉🎂🎁❤️
You always make me happy with your rants so there you go you have a purpose 🤗
I understand how you feel and I feel the same around birthday time. I sit in a dialysis chair 3 days a week and wonder what did I do wrong to deserve this but then I think of all the people I cheer up when I'm there and that is my purpose. We all have a purpose Dr. B sometimes we're just a bit hard on ourselves.
You enjoy the rest of your birthday and remember your rants are appreciated a lot ❤️🎂🎉
Happy Birthday Brendan. Another day wiser. Love your rants because we all feel the same pain with life but then there are good days and life is good.
Now I know why I relate to your writing so well. We share a birthday. Though, being in Canada mine hasn’t happened yet. 😊 Happy birthday to us!